It’s true. I’m a con artist. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I could successfully con other people but the actual victim here is me. It started long ago but took on a life of its own in this millennium. Let me tell you, I can talk a good game. I can say all the right things and get my dietary support staff to buy in with excitement and enthusiasm.
Here’s how the con works. I reach the end of my rope. I join/ subscribe/ purchase the latest greatest diet craze. I create a plan. I write it down and I create a fancy spreadsheet to quantify my progress and predict the date of completion and success. I pay hundreds of dollars (the best one was hypnosis for $1,800 in four EASY payments!) then eat to my heart’s content until the first appointment/meetings begin/book arrives.
I am a model citizen at the beginning. I can say all the right things to the Weight Watchers leader so she anticipates my weigh in every week. Usually by week four she is already talking to me about reaching goal and becoming a leader myself. I can film a video with the director of the hypnosis center so compelling that he cannot wait to use it in his advertisements. I can charm a personal trainer by using buzz words like commitment, lifetime and endorphin.
But I hit my con artist brick wall this past fall. I started working with a nutritionist in July. I poured my heart out. I shared my failures with her. She took my before picture and gave me great stuff to read. She cared about me, I mean, really cared about me. I even admitted to her in August that I am capable of saying all the right things and am good at starting but not very good at follow through. It was the first time I ever said that out loud and I think it is because it is the first time I began to see the con for what it was.
4. a confidence game or swindle.
5. a lie, exaggeration, or glib self-serving talk
Eventually, as I missed appointments and slid back to my old ways, I began for the first time to understand my tactics and how destructive they were. I was embarrassed to go back because I saw something in her eyes which was different than I had ever seen in anyone who was “helping” me before. She was really, sincerely disappointed. She really believed in me and the disappointment I saw was like a wet glove being slapped on my face. That one single look, which she may not even know crossed her face, was the jolt I needed. I stopped the con cold turkey in January.
Things are different now. When the con stopped I didn’t eat like crazy until I developed a plan. There is no fancy spreadsheet although I do keep track of what I eat every day making sure my body is fueled with protein. I have no date of completion because that would assume I am dead. This is not a diet. I will never diet again (that, in and of itself, is entirely freeing!) but simply eat like a healthy person every day.
Would you like to read more about my journey?
Have a yummy week!