Birthday Treats and Always Being A Mom

2 Comments

20121024-102232.jpg

This guy is 22 today. The beanie hat has been replaced by a briefcase but he did have a ride in the subway today…to work.

Even 10 years ago I would have baked a treat and gone to school with fresh pressed cider from a local farm and shared with his class. One year, when my grandmother passed away my husband did treat duty. Otherwise it was a tradition I enjoyed without reserve.

Birthday cakes were homemade in our house growing up and we did the same for our kids. Every year we would get their feedback and create the treat of choice. We made a big deal of preparing and packaging the confections and it made their birthday even more special.

Perhaps the best compliment my sister ever received from my foodie niece came a few years back when one of her classmates celebrated her birthday at school.

My sister asked her what the treats were.

“Oh, they were ok. Cupcakes.”

My sister reminded her she loved cupcakes and she responded:

“But Mommy, they were from the STORE!”

Happy birthday to my 22 year old baby. Oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to visit your client this afternoon with some freshly pressed Niagara County cider and homemade brownies.

Have a yummy (birth)day!

20121024-105904.jpg

About these ads

Cerebral Palsy: We Fear What We Don’t Know

4 Comments

20120918-072835.jpg

Two days after my son Tommy was born we learned he had a serious congenital heart defect. Prior to his diagnosis he had what a young British intern described to my husband as “a bit of a fit.” It was his first seizure and what could have been called a stroke in an adult.

We believe that was his traumatic brain injury that caused his cerebral palsy.

Did you know that cerebral palsy is NOT a disease? You can’t catch it.

What is cerebral palsy (CP)? Cerebral palsy, also referred to as CP, is a term used to describe a group of chronic conditions affecting body movement and muscle coordination. It is caused by damage to one or more specific areas of the brain, usually occurring during fetal development; before, during, or shortly after birth; or during infancy. Thus, these disorders are not caused by problems in the muscles or nerves. Instead, faulty development or damage to motor areas in the brain disrupt the brain’s ability to adequately control movement and posture.

“Cerebral” refers to the brain and “palsy” to muscle weakness/poor control. Cerebral palsy itself is not progressive (i.e. brain damage does not get worse); however, secondary conditions, such as muscle spasticity, can develop which may get better over time, get worse, or remain the same. Cerebral palsy is not communicable. It is not a disease and should not be referred to as such. Although cerebral palsy is not “curable” in the accepted sense, training and therapy can help improve function.

Tommy didn’t progress physically like other kids but since he was my first child and had such a rough beginning we just thought he was delayed. When he was 14 months old, even after we brought him back to Philadelphia for his one year follow-up at CHOP and his heart got a “looking good” by his cardiologist, he had a massive seizure. Once he was stabilized he was brought to Buffalo Women’s and Children’s Hospital he was diagnosed with a seizure disorder and spastic diplegia.

Did I know spastic diplegia was a form of cerebral palsy? Nope, I did not. Did I know what CP was? Apparently nope, I did not know about that, either. We told our parents and tried hard to explain it to them, too. When it was time to tell my grandmother my mother suggested I actually use the term spastic diplegia rather than CP because she would be afraid of the term CP.

Can cerebral palsy be treated? “Management” is a better word than “treatment.” Management consists of helping the child achieve maximum potential in growth and development. This should be started as early as possible with identification of the very young child who may have a developmental brain disorder. A management program can then be started promptly wherein programs, physicians, therapists, educators, nurses, social workers, and other professionals assist the family as well as the child. Certain medications, surgery, and braces may be used to improve nerve and muscle coordination and prevent or minimize dysfunction.

As individuals mature, they may require support services such as personal assistance services, continuing therapy, educational and vocational training, independent living services, counseling, transportation, recreation/leisure programs, and employment opportunities, all essential to the developing adult. People with cerebral palsy can go to school, have jobs, get married, raise families, and live in homes of their own. Most of all people with cerebral palsy need the opportunity for independence and full inclusion in our society.

We are often afraid of what we don’t know.

Tonight I am attending Niagara Cerebral Palsy‘s Annual Awards Gala. Since Tommy’s death my husband and I sponsor an award given to someone at Niagara Children ETC who lives the mission and shares it with all the students. it is my annual opportunity to thank them for the profound impact the school had on our family and on all of those they serve.

NCP is just another example of why my glass is half full!

Have a yummy and inspired day!

20120918-073501.jpg

Quick Bite: Betty’s

Leave a comment

20120907-082913.jpg

Betty’s Virginia Street, Buffalo, NY

They promised “good food just for you” and they delivered. This is my post airport goodbye meal and Betty even added cheddar to my basic breakfast ($5.25). The 3 seed bread with raisins and walnuts is just wonderful. Thanks Betty!

Zoom Zoom…Time Flies!

1 Comment

Today’s musings are not about being a foodie but just about being Jude. It’s about that sobering realization that we raise our children to leave us.

20120803-083444.jpgThis picture of my son wearing an FAO Schwartz beanie hat was taken about 15 years ago, in a 5th Avenue subway station. I’d say it was a simpler time but I think we reframe and reprint memories. I was likely just as frantic then as I am today…yet all I remember is the sweet exuberance of a bright child trying to learn everything he could and pack it into a day with an 8:30 pm bedtime.

20120803-084122.jpgI’ll bet when my mom sees this picture she won’t remember how stressful her life was at the time this picture was taken. Her husband was working 80+ hours a week, striking out on his own when I was born, opening a used car lot with my uncle while she was trying to take care of two children (my sister did not come along for another 2 1/2 years). It’s funny how we understand our parents so much more as we get older ourselves.

I said something to her the other day and we both had a big belly crunching tear evoking laugh. I said “Oh my God, Ma, Anthony is actually moving away from home!” She looked at me with the same smirk she used to ask me to wipe off my face and said “Imagine that! A child moving away from home. I’ll bet that’s never been done before!” Yeah. Ok. Point taken.

20120803-090953.jpgHe turned 21 last year. Zoom zoom. He was just six. Yesterday he signed a lease on an apartment in NYC.

20120803-091953.jpgI guess the bottom line is, we raise our children to leave us.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences on letting go…Have a yummy weekend20120803-092249.jpgJudeTheFoodie.com

Musings While Making Sauce

1 Comment

20120722-161728.jpg

My son’s Facebook status: “there is nothing in the world like waking up to the smell of sauce already cooking. I love being Italian“.

It’s many hours and many hand washings later and I can still smell what I cooked all over my hands. And, that’s not a bad thing!

I am using the last of the San Marzano tomatoes I canned last fall. I guess I will need to do more this year!

The herb garden is one of the stars of the show. I love seeing the green of the parsley in my meatballs.

20120722-162406.jpgI’m very loyal. I think Contadina makes a great, consistent product. When I don’t have my own tomatoes I always use Contadina.

20120722-162517.jpgI remember as a girl watching my mother make meatballs. She would shiver with how cold the meat was. Sometimes she would ask me to roll up her sleeves (I learned about food safely as a young foodie!).

20120722-162652.jpgThis bowl of olive oil and 1/4 cup measure are my secret weapons while making meatballs. With the eggs, cheese, breadcrumbs and spices I get ten 1/4 cup meatballs per pound of ground meat. It is exceedingly predictable so planning is easy and they cook evenly when they are the same size.

20120722-162940.jpgHere are those little soldiers, all lined up in a row. The secret here is the pork fat and juice on the bottom of the foil lined pan. Before I even chop an onion or pepper I fire up my broiler, line my heavy 13″ x 9″ baking pan and cook my pork. I used pork shoulder and ribs today. They were big so I cut each into three pieces.

20120722-163256.jpgYup, that’s nutmeg. It adds a subtle flavor that no one can recognize.

20120722-211022.jpgThere are six more just like it in the freezer. These two are going to friends.

Have a yummy day! JudetheFoodie.com

Even Angels Need Birthday Cake

2 Comments

Things I learned the “Summer of 1984”

Even angels need birthday cake.

(Recipe included http://judethefoodie.com/2012/07/02/rich-golden-cake/)

Just because he only got three cakes does not mean we should stop celebrating that he was born!

 Our overuse of the word awesome has actually devalued it.

Incorrect use: Oh wow, this movie is awesome!

CORRECT USE: It’s so awesome that she can operate on a babie’s heart, the size of a walnut!

Incorrect use: You got us tickets to the game? Awesome!

CORRECT USE: He’s breathing on his own? Awesome!

Today is the best day I’ll ever have.

There are no guarantees so make the best of every day.

Karel Soucek is one crazy dude.

 http://www.infoniagara.com/niagaradaredevils/karelsoucek.aspx  Tom came into the recovery room at Mt. St. Mary’s Hospital and told me this guy went over the falls and lived. Six months later tries to jump into a ten foot barrel in the Houston Astrodome and hits the side. He was no Nik Wallenda!

 Pediatric Cardiologists and Pediatric Cardiothoracic Surgeons are two different specialties.

I had no idea that first you see a cardiologist who performs the diagnostics then you see the surgeon (who often has the bedside manner of a brick).

McDonalds has great coffee.

In the lobby of CHOP (http://www.chop.edu/ Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) there was a McDonalds. We got a coffee and cinnamon rolls every day. Never underestimate the power of good coffee.

 If a surgeon offers to try the newest surgery on your child…run, don’t walk to the surgeon who does.

The surgeon at the time at Buffalo Children’s Hospital had never done the surgery called the switch. In fact, it had only been performed fewer than two dozen times. He said he’d try.

Mortality rates become a sobering statistic when you are talking about state of the art medical intervention.

We said “no thank you” and became the first family to take our child away from Buffalo for open heart surgery. I guess all legacies come to an end.

Sometimes a hole in your heart is a good thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashkind_balloon_atrial_septostomy Tommy’s pediatric cardiologist turned out to be a world renowned doctor. My sister-in-law Mary had not been at CHOP for a month when Tommy was born. When his diagnosis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transposition_of_the_great_vessels) was made she went directly to Dr. Rashkind’s office and is singularly responsible for having him take her nephew on as a patient.

In the end, faith is all we have.

Things are often not what they seem.

I saw a man tossing a little boy up in the air in an enjoining waiting room and felt a pang of jealousy. My husband reminded me there was likely a very serious reason why those two should be in that room. Reframe: thank God they had that playful time together.

The sound of laughter in a hospital is not at all strange.

Superheroes wear masks…and scrubs.

When it’s too hard to pray, too hard to think beyond the next moment, I discovered there are countless and nameless people who are doing the praying for you.

July 2, 1984 – Happy birthday Tommy III – forever young…

Lessons from Motherhood

Leave a comment

The softer you speak, the louder the lesson. Nothing gets attention more quickly than a <seemingly> calm parent.

There is always room in the house for “homemade” anything. I still have a pin shaped like a heart and covered with red granulated sugar that I am going to wear to Mother’s Day Mass given to me when my son was in early elementary school.

It’s easier to bust them for things you did when you were a kid. Growing up I shared a room with my sister. We kept the light on in our closet overnight as an unofficial night light. Because we frequently moved the furniture, I always tried to get the one nearest the closet because I would open the door a little more to get enough light to read. I would be so tired the next day that my mother would think I was sick. Years later I remember accusing Anthony of reading after bedtime. Imagine, chiding your child because they were up late reading. Not every moment is a mother-of-the-year moment.

PlayDoh colors can mix and the end of the world does not come. I think about how many minutes of my life were spent trying to pick-up the wonderful molding toy and it makes me crazy just thinking about it.

All we have is time. And, all we don’t have is time. While I regret only having little Tommy for nearly four years I have never regretted the time we simply just spent together. Fast forward to Anthony and I made life and career choices I am proud of and still reap the benefit of.

The best way to land your helicopter is to never let it take off. Maybe it’s because I watch parents every day at work but I wanted to be sure I wasn’t that parent we all talk about. I am happy we taught our son how to manage money as a young teen, helping him get a checking account when he was 14. I only went toe to toe with one teacher, backing up the rest even when I was less than certain I agreed with their lesson. Watching him navigate his life, making decisions and doing it on his own is way more fun than flying a helicopter.

Even in death, all things are not lost. Over twenty years ago, after Tommy died I planted daffodil bulbs behind our property in a wooded area. I could see them every year and as they multiplied I was reminded of new life. Last year, without notice, the village clear cut forty feet of brush and trees to help with a drainage problem and I was never able to dig up those bulbs for planting in another area. I cried like a baby. I wept because it brought the loss back to the tip of my eyes and the front of my consciousness. About ten days ago, around the remaining brush, this is what I saw:

 one daffodil survived reminding me to hang in there. All is not lost.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers in my life.

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

Taillights Disappear: Another Passage

Leave a comment

It was still dark when he left this morning so our traditional blinking of the headlights (him) and front porch light (me) quietly symbolized our wave goodbye.  Another college Christmas vacation in the record books.

He reminded his father on one of their many walks during break that he was graduating from college next year.  Wow!

He reminded me that he was turning 21 THIS year.  Wow, again!

He will likely not be home again until the end of the semester, after finals have been written and the car packed once again.  He has so much to look forward to these next few months including a training trip to Hawaii on Thursday.  He will be back in Buffalo in February for the MAAC Swimming and Diving Championships but that trip is not a visit home, just another part of his swim schedule.

Roommates and friends are packing up into cars and driving down to Florida for spring break, hoping they have the need for a side trip to see their Men’s Basketball team play somewhere in the NCAA First Round.  Easter break will be down at the condo and although it is a second home, I think by then he will be pining for his northern one.

Our regular visits end this month as the season is finally drawing to a close.  This is the semester when I miss him…the house is so quiet…

When he returns in May it will not be for the traditional 3 ½ month break.  He will only spend two weeks at home before we move him to NYC for a 10 week summer internship at PWC.

Today I’ll remember our light flashing goodbye as I pray he has a safe trip and misses me just a little, too!

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com

Holiday Stress Meets Female Hormones: Holimones©

3 Comments

Yes, Holimones©! I think it is a great description of what many of us women feel this time of year.  And, if you are a middle aged female you can really understand this because of the sleep disruption associated with this period of life.

Picture her at the Post Office, sliding her packages through the winding que only to get to the counter and find out she used the wrong marker for the address.  She melts down and a neighbor in line remarks to another “she is normally a very nice, courteous person but, you know those Holimones©…!”

She’s the one online at 3am ordering the Sponge Bob Chia Pet.  What right-minded person would do that?

There she is, like Gumby on acid, dusting the living room at midnight, while cookies bake in the nearby kitchen.  Sleep can wait until the 26th!

She is winding the last package with ribbon as she walks out the door for her next holiday party. 

And, guys, you’re not off so easily?  What happens with middle aged men and their hormones?  What else?

Holirones © 

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com

My Mother’s Face

9 Comments

It actually took my breath away.  It made me cry.  It filled me with love.  It made me realize how precious life is.  It made time freeze.

Yesterday was day like so many others.  I sang with Voce Regales, a female vocal group formed about 4 years ago by our church’s music minister, Peter Smith.  I have been singing in choral groups since I was in 4th grade, so, that makes it…4 plus 5 minus 52…a really long time!

When I was a kid, my father used to clear his throat.  This way I knew he was there (never always sure about that – he worked a lot and had lots of things going on) and where he was sitting in case I could glance over and smile, wink or discreetly wave.

But my mother was always there having already dressed me in the appropriate outfit, baked the requisite item for the punch and goodies afterward and delivered me to the appropriate venue with minutes to spare after the boots were removed and choir chair found.

If Dad was the wild card, Mom was the Queen.  If Dad was the variable, Mom was the absolute.

Have you ever noticed how little we think about the absolute and how the wild card gets all of the attention.  Yesterday that thought was like a punch in the stomach for me.  My lovely lively mother sat at St. Peter’s Church staring at me with the most devoted face of love I have ever witnessed and all I could do was cry.

To gain composure I looked a little further in the distance, several rows behind me and saw the parents of one of my favored choir members.  What did I see?  I saw the look of absolute love for their daughter.

Most profound for me, however, was the reality that I still had the opportunity to see that look of love and how lucky I am to have at least one of my parents.  To have made it into middle age and still have a parent is a lovely thing.

If your parents are alive, give them a call today for no reason, only to ask about them and offer love.

Life is good!

Jude

Twitter: MidMajorMom

Twitter: JudeCaserta

AthleticBudgetCoach.com